I'm So Ready... Or am I?

1.06.2014

Well, here we are at 37 weeks 5 days pregnant. Full term. Which means that this sweet baby girl could make her appearance at any time. You may recall that I had Emerson at exactly 38 weeks. That is just two days away! We are really, truly in the final days before meeting our second daughter.
(Here's a little comparison for you. 37 weeks 3 days with both pregnancies)

And oh am I ready. I'm so anxious to see her sweet little face and to kiss her smooth baby cheeks. I'm dying to get to know her. To hold her and relish those newborn snuggles. And truth be told, I'm ready to get my body back. While I can't complain because this pregnancy has been pretty darn easy, it will be nice to be able to bend over easily and get up without so much effort. 

The nursery is complete. The diapers and wipes and all of the tiny little baby socks are organized and put away, just waiting to be used. All of the baby gear has been brought up from the garage. There's a swing in the living room and the Rock N Play in our room, right next to my side of the bed. We even have the carseat installed. I have to say it's pretty surreal to see TWO carseats in the backseat of my car.

So, technically I'm ready. But I have to be honest and tell you that I'm also not. As excited as I am to welcome this precious child into our lives, I'm also scared out of my mind. I've forgotten all about the sleepless nights and constant diaper changes. The nonstop nursing sessions and the neediness. Honestly, I've pretty much forgotten what it's like to have a newborn or even a baby for that matter. They say it all comes back to you but what if it doesn't. I know as a second time mom I shouldn't worry about these things because I've done it before. But that feels like a lifetime ago and I'm just not sure I'm ready for the task!

And if I'm being 100 percent honest, I'm not just nervous. I'm even a little sad. It's so bittersweet to see Emerson's time as an only child come to an end.  For the last 2 and a half years she has been my little sidekick. My shopping buddy and lunch date. She's been my sole focus and my purpose each day. She stole my heart from the moment I laid eyes on her and I swear I love her more and more each day. She's my best little buddy and I truly enjoy spending time with her. So thinking about how much that's about to change has brought me to tears more than once. As I put her to bed each night I wonder if it's her last night as an only child. I question whether I've truly taken in each moment of the day and soaked up every precious second. And before I go to bed each night I pray that she knows just how much I love her and how much she truly means to me. My precious girl that made me a momma.
I know we will eventually get back into a routine and we will still be able to get out and do things but I also know it's going to be different and there's nothing that can be done about that. It's just hard letting go of what our lives have been for the last 2.5 years and getting ready to fully embrace what they are to become.

At the same time, I know that Emerson is going to be the most amazing big sister. I read an article about siblings not long ago and it said that a sibling is the most amazing lifelong gift that you could ever give your child. That really rang true for me and it's been one of the things that's really helped when I feel anxious about bringing Adelyn home. I pray that Emerson and Adelyn will not only be sisters, but also very best friends for life. 

Most of all I pray for strength, wisdom, and God's guidance as we grow from three to a family of four. I know that I am beyond blessed to be a mother to two precious little girls and I just want to be the best I can be for them. I am certain that it is one of the most important roles that I will ever fill and I just want to do it right.

Ready or not, our lives are about to be doubly blessed! I know that no amount of preparation will really make us ready for this huge life change but I am also quite sure that once Adelyn is here we won't be able to remember what life was like without her. With that I feel pretty confident saying,  "Come on sweet girl, your family is anxiously waiting to meet you!"

Miranda said...

How exciting, yet scary at the same time! I would feel the same way. Good luck! Love your new blog design!!

April said...

Oh Tami! I had all those same fears and anxieties when we were waiting for Haley. It's totally normal to feel this way but I promise you the change won't be as drastic as it was when you had Emerson. When we had Jonah it rocked our world in good and bad (sleepless months) ways. I promise you will have so much confidence with this second baby and Emerson is going to adore her. I can remember crying a lot after we had Jonah because I was scared and unsure of what I should do. I can honestly say I never cried like that since Haley has been born. I cried because I was overwhelmed with how much love I felt for both of my children and how well God had taken care of us through her birth and getting her home. Also, I promise that all those baby things like diapers, bottles, etc will come back like riding a bicycle. Praying for you!!

~Dawn~ said...

I can so relate to each and every word, having 2 little girls of my own. The bond your little daughters will share will fill your haert more than you could ever imagine. Best of luck to you, Mama, in these last few days as a family of 3.

Hollie said...

This post brought tears to my eyes! I feel all of those things about Ella! I think that's one reason I've waited so long to think about another. But I know the joy a sibling brings. It is going to be perfect! You look amazing!! So excited for your sweet little family!!

Traci@TheHallway said...

What a truly beautiful post! You look so amazing!! Good luck with these next few days and welcoming that precious girl into this world!

Tiffany said...

This post truly rang home for me. I am always on a constant debate about if I want to have another baby or just stay a family of three. C and I both have siblings so I know what I great thing it can be. But sometimes I feel guilty when I think about wanting another. Then there is the newborn phase that makes me nervous. I want another but have the same feelings as you.

Have you done a nursery reveal yet? I go periods without being able to read blogs so maybe I just missed it.

Tara said...

This made me tear up! I definitely feel that same special love for my daughter, and almost can't imagine loving another baby as much as I love her. I guess your heart just keeps growing! Anyway, just wanted to wish you the best of luck in these last few days. Can't wait to see pictures of your girls together! :)

Paula Lynch said...

So sweet. Hard to believe Adelyn is almost here. E is going to be best big sister.

Allison said...

Not that I'm anywhere near having a second baby, but your fears are exactly what I'm feeling. I'm so excited for you to start this new journey as a momma to two pretty, pretty girls!

Katie said...

It's a scary feeling I remember all too well! You won't know it for sure until that sweet little girl arrives, but it all works out. Your fears will be quickly put to rest:) Hang in there momma!

Sarah said...

I'm not even pregnant or trying and I have all these same emotions about potentially bringing another baby into our family! Best of luck- you are so close!

Mandy said...

I can assure you that everything you are feeling right now is totally normal and something that just about every 2nd time mommma feels before bringing baby #2 home! I felt exactly the same way before bringing home Ann Elise and what you said is true- once you have Adelyn you won't be able to imagine your family without her!! Jackson fell instantly in love with AE and it was one of the single most precious, priceless things we have ever witnessed!! Which in turn will make you love E even more than you thought possible too! :) You will do amazing and I can't wait for you to meet sweet baby Adelyn!!! Love you sweet friend! Make sure Jesse has me on speed dial so he can text me when something happens!!

Lyndsey said...

I felt basically the EXACT same way, and I promise you you're going to be just fine! You'll surprise yourself with how quickly you jump back into newborn-hood and I bet you'll think it's easier this time around. If for no other reason than now you at least know it WILL end and you will sleep again someday! :) I was really worried about Liam and would get upset if I didn't think he was getting enough attention, but they'll let you know if they need it and you're a good mama so I know you'll spot it if you see it! Newborns sleep so much too that I still felt like I got a ton of one on one time with Liam in the beginning. And now as she's starting to stay awake more during the day, Liam has already adjusted to the fact that she's here for good and just expects her to be around! There will be hard days, but you will rock it and it will be so worth it for all of you! Big hugs!! :)

Stephanie said...

Yep, I too felt the same way - excited, scared, sad, all of the above. Everything will work out just as it should and you will each fall into your new roles. You look beautiful and I can't wait to "meet" that new baby also!

Natalie said...

I can't wait to see her! I know you will rock this having 2 kids thing and Emerson will be the SWEETEST big sister!

J and A said...

So exciting!!! You will do great!! And E will be the best big sis.

Rebekah said...

I am so excited for you! You are going to be the best momma to two precious little girls. Emerson will be such a wonderful big sister!

Meghan said...

This post is SO sweet. I had all of those exact same feelings before welcoming our second into the family last May. I remember each tuck in with my first as we got closer and closer to the due date. It was almost heart wrenching. I would just want to hold him so tight and hated letting him go knowing that it could be my last night doing our little routine. BUt I assure you, as everyone else commented as well, it will be juuuust fine. The second my precious girl was handed to me, my heart just grew. I was immediately SO in love with her, I can't explain it. And then seeing my son's love for his little sister was exponentially more sweet than I ever could have imagined. It takes a few weeks to adjust to routines again, but boy is it all worth it. Having two has been the hugest blessing to our family. You have so much joy awaiting you! Thinking of you and sending a prayer that you'll have peace in your heart and an easy delivery.

Mallorie said...

So I am the worst blog commenter EVER lately, but I just had to say I love this post and it made me tear up! I am not even pregnant with #2 yet and can totally relate with your feelings! :-) I know E will be such an awesome big sister. I cannot wait to see those two sweet girls together!

Mateya said...

Oh good grief, here I am in tears! I feel like I could have wrote this exact same post and I am not even half done with this pregnancy yet, but all of the fears you mentioned are so heavy on my heart already.

I can't wait to see your family evolve to a family of 4 and I am so grateful to have a friend like you to look to for advice! Praying for your transition and can't wait to meet sweet Adelyn!!!

ajs {of MN} said...

You have so far raised from what I can see a sweet little girl, there is NO DOUBT in my mind that you will be just as great when there are TWO girls to be a wonderful role model for! I am SO excited for you guys!

Copyright © Little Moments Like This
Made with Love by The Dutch Lady Designs