Jumping In

9.13.2012

Earlier this week our Bible study group met for the first time. As I mentioned before, we are doing Beth Moore's James study. The first meeting was really more of an introduction to the study and a little get to know you session.

During the introductions we went around the room and told everyone about ourselves. We also had to use one letter from James to tell something about ourselves. My turn happened to fall on the letter J. As soon as I heard that, I knew exactly what J stood for in my life at the moment: Jumping In.

Recently I've felt convicted to jump in and take more chances, if you will. It started with a visit to the church. Jesse wasn't able to go with me and usually that would keep me from going. I don't know why I'm so weird about going somewhere new by myself, but I am. I don't mean the mall or work situations or anything like that. I have no problem shopping or eating by myself. It's usually new social situations that make me nervous. I always feel like I am such a nerd and so awkward and it makes me not want to go into new situations by myself.

Anyway, I happened to meet another Marine spouse who also wanted to visit the church so we made plans to visit together. While I was there they spoke about their women's Bible studies and I immediately felt called to do something I have never done before. I signed up!

And even though I was really excited about the idea of going, I was also nervous for a variety of reasons. The first being that I have never done a group Bible study. I've always felt like I'm not knowledgable enough about the Bible to participate. That's silly, isn't it? The whole point of a Bible study is to become more knowledgable! I've also wondered if I am a good enough Christian. Being around such Godly women can be a bit intimidating because I have SO much work to do to be the person that God wants me to be.

My second huge concern was leaving Emerson in the child care that was provided for the study. As I've mentioned before, I have only left Emerson a handful of times and it has always been with family or very close friends.  I felt confident that she would be well taken care of, but I was so worried that she would be upset for me to leave her.

That, coupled with my nervousness about going to a brand new place with a room full of strangers, and I was this close to backing out.

The night before the first meeting I really felt like something was working against me and my plans. Emerson was up most of the night from teething and we were both less than 100 percent the next morning. I really worried that her lack of sleep would make her extra grumpy and that leaving her at the nursery would make us both cry!

While trying to get ready I couldn't find a thing to wear and when it was time to leave I discovered that one of the car tires needed air. It was literally one thing after the other. There were at least five times throughout the morning that made me consider dropping out of the Bible study.

But, for some reason, I decided to go. When I took Emerson to the childcare room there weren't any other children there. That really worried me because I was hoping other kids would be there to distract her. Luckily, she went right in without a worry in the world. I signed in, put her stuff away and walked right out of the room without a peep from her. I had told myself that we would leave if she cried but I never should have worried. She was in the nursery for over two hours and had the best time. She never cried or asked for me and the nursery workers told me that she played the entire time. I can't even begin to tell you what a blessing this was for me!

When I went up to registration table to get my book, I learned that two of my neighbors were part of the study! It was nice to go on knowing that I already knew two people. During the meet and greet I met several other ladies and I felt instantly welcome. We broke up into small groups of 6-7 and I can already tell that I was placed in the perfect group for me. Throughout our introduction time we talked and laughed and even shared a little bit of our hearts. There was a sense of comfort and belonging that I worried I wouldn't feel.

Even though we didn't start our actual study that day, God taught me so many lessons. All of my worrying and anxiousness was pointless. And despite the obstacles that tried to get in my way, with God's help, I did what I had set out to do.

 I jumped in.


the workaholic momma said...

Great job, girl!!! I am absolutely the exact same way about new social situations...I'm usually the wallflower;) I'm so glad Emerson did so well in the nursery and you had such a great experience!!!

Mom said...

So glad you went. You will enjoy Beth Moore. E will have fun with the kids. Love you

April said...

Glad it went smoothly. I am the exact same way about trying new things.

Beth Ann said...

Way to go, girl! Glad you had a good experience.

Amanda said...

So glad you went! I just finished the bible study James this Summer and it was definitely my favorite. I learned so much and definitely grew as a person and as a Christian. I hope you enjoy it too!

Leah said...

I'd feel the same way, way to go!

Kelli Kegley said...

I have decided that when everything seems to be going against me to get to some kind of devotional type thing that that means God is going to be doing something big and Satan doesn't want me there! I'm so glad Emerson did well, too!

Marcella{The Life of a Military Family} said...

That's awesome!
Satan will do anything to keep us from fellow-shipping with other believers.

Mandy said...

I am so proud of you sweet friend!! And can I tell you something that will make you fall out of your seat? We are such kindred spirits that I actually went to MY first bible study group (or book study group) on Tuesday of this week and I almost backed out too for the exact same fears you were having!!!! But I did the same thing as you and I jumped in and God touched me so much in those 2 hours and now I can't wait to go back!! So happy for you that you enjoyed your study so much!! Love you!

Rebekah said...

I'm so happy that you went! It can be hard to go to things like that. I'm doing the James study too at PWOC! It's AMAZING so far.

luvbnmom said...

Congrats. That is awesome that Emerson did so well! I know that Noah would have a fit.....but honestly, as long as the workers would be fine with it I would probably make him tough it out......lol I know you will have a great time with your new class and good luck!

allie-mac-fallie said...

I totally understand how you feel on so many levels and I am doing the same thing except through bsf! I looove Beth Moore but since we have moved I haven't really gotten connected so I'm going to do bsf this gear :) praying for you sweet friend!!

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