My Miracle

8.23.2011

The book I ordered for Emerson’s 3 month birthday come in yesterday.  This morning, I decided I would read it to her.  I made it about halfway through the book before the knot formed in my throat and the tears sprang up in my eyes.  It took me a minute before I could continue reading and even then it was hard for me to get the words out. I’ve noticed this happening every time I’m trying to read her one of her monthly books. Each one is about the amazing blessing of having a child and they all make me cry because they remind me of just how very lucky I am to be Emerson’s mommy.

Every time I look at her I think back to that very first ultrasound we had at 5 weeks. I  had been spotting  quite a bit so  the nurse thought it would be best if I went and had an ultrasound. We could see the gestational sac and the fetal pole, but no heartbeat was visible yet.  The doctor told me not to worry- that it was just too early- but I was secretly scared out of my mind. Now that I was pregnant there was nothing I wanted more than this baby.  At that time, I also had my HCG levels tested. After the ultrasound we got the results back and learned that my HCG levels were very low for that point in the pregnancy. Even though I was “barely” pregnant I already felt so attached to this little life growing inside me. I was advised to wait a week and come back for a follow up ultrasound.

Needless to say, that was the longest week of my life. The spotting continued and I constantly feared the worse. I will never forget when we went back for that follow-up ultrasound. I was so nervous that I was literally shaking when I laid down on the table. However, all of my fears disappeared when I saw the flicker of the tiniest little heartbeat on the screen. It was from that moment on that this little miracle had my whole heart.

Fast forward to 9 weeks. Everything was going smoothly and I decided it was time to go public with my awesome news. I posted on the blog and on Facebook and was so excited to be celebrating our anniversary and my pregnancy. Unfortunately, I started spotting again that very same day and the fear set back in. I called the doctor and asked to be seen for an ultrasound immediately. They couldn’t get me in until the next day. I remember just crying and praying that God would take care of our sweet baby. The next day we went in to make sure our little munchkin was still growing. The minute the doctor put the wand on my belly we heard the whooshing of that strong little heart and we saw the tiniest little limbs moving around.  I don’t think I have ever been so relieved in my whole life. Even though I didn’t know this baby yet, I truly loved it with all my heart and soul. And now- now that I do know her- I CAN’T imagine my life without her.

So- I guess it’s okay that I get emotional when I read books about the miracle of having a baby because Emerson (as are all babies) is a miracle-MY miracle- and I’m blessed beyond words. I love looking back at the ultrasound pictures and knowing that this beautiful, sweet baby girl started off as a tiny speck on the ultrasound screen.

emerson over time

“For you are fearfully and wonderfully made….” (Psalms 139)

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Just the Two of US said...

She's getting sooo big! Adorable!

Lindsay said...

What a beautiful miracle baby! I find myself crying thinking back on Lila's newborn days and when I was pregnant with her. It goes so fast and is such an amazing experience! I love Emerson's bows, btw!

Gina said...

I love the pictures! This post was just beautiful and had tears in my eyes!

Joeylee said...

what a great post. so sweet, she is such a doll!

Natalie said...

Wow, what a scary trial! I am so glad she was ok and that your precious baby is here with you!!!

Rebekah said...

Oh my, this made me tear up!

Rachel and John said...

Thank goodness everything worked out. They are precious miracles!

Mom said...

We are all so blessed to have this precious baby in our lives. Truly a gift from God. For this child I prayed and will continue to pray for as long as I live. She is blessed to have wonderful parents who love her and will be able to provide a wonderful life for her.

The Shamblins said...

You always have the sweetest posts! Emerson is so lucky to have you as her mommy! Those books get me every time too!

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